Another step..

And yes...tonight the last official day as president 1st of may has ended (as recorded by www.myaiesec.net, as the takeover has already taken place), and so have other things along with it.

New road...a more fulfilled Oana...less people around in my life...

What will stay? What will be left behind ? What will begin as of now...

Let it come.....

Last night i had a meeting with old chipmunks friends, and they have asked "What are your plans for the next year?"/

Professionally i don't have any anymore as i might have to stay in Romania next year, but i realized that no matter the place and the path i will take there are some things that i am searching for.

> long coffees with milk and friends
> being danced like crazy
> waking up in the arms of someone that thinks i look good in the morning with the messy hair and no make-up
> surprises
> discovering
> giving and taking energy
> reading
> starting to write again
> do random things like painting classes or playing in a swing in the middle of the night
> breath
> kiss
> meaningful silence
> snow


And having those more might compensate for the time my path can not go straight, but needs to take a curve for a while.If you have the ability to provide any of the above i will buy them from you. I can pay with smiles:)

sa ma duc....sa mai stau....

03:36. Sediul AIESEC Bucuresti.

Acvariul cu pesti si apa inca necuratata in stanga, gardienii de serviciu din ASE la parter. Lumina stinsa ca sa ii observ mai bine pe cei dintai si sa ma observe mai greu cei din urma.

Outlookul meu downlodand inca (face asta de o saptamana, de cand tot la 4 dimineata si tot in sediu a prins viata din nou) cele 12.000 de mailuri stranse in 2 ani jumate de AIESEC.

Ziua lui tati de Florii. Mi-am adus aminte de asta dupa ce am re-amintit managementului @ sa trimita proritatile pe saptamana care urmeaza. Stau mai bine cu grija pentru memoria altora decat cu bagarea in seama a celei proprii.

Maine zi mare.Adica azi. Examene, majoratul (http://bucuresti18.aiesec.ro), ultima seara oficiala ca VP Comm...prima seara oficiala ca presedinte....ultima seara cu o echipa...una din multele ce au fost si vor urma cu echipa mea...

Sa ma duc acasa unde nu am net ca sa dorm...sa mai stau aici si sa lucrez....hmm..decizii...decizii...

Are you faithfull?

Or do you ask of the loved ones in your life to be?


You see a beautifull happy face on the street, and you think of that smile as beeing the consequence of your kiss. Is that beeing unfaithfull to the one you love?

A well sculpured body escapes the enprisoning of modern clothes, by a mere slight reflection of it's form within them. The tempations of your hands to prove the tangibility of curved lines is defined as unfaithfullness? Or is it just the surrender of mind to the hand desire the one that enters that defintion?

Were do you draw the line to say " i have been unfaithfull" or even worse, to think " you have been unfaithfull" ? And what makes you draw the line were you do?

For me, gealousy is the perfect measurement tool of insecurity in a relationship. And more than that, of insecurity about were you stand in it.

Why would somebody bee gealous of a gesture, a smile, a look or even an afair if it did not forecast in one's mind a lose of the one you want to be yours?

Maibe the line is drawn by passing over the line of what is thought that creates more than one option in a domain in which you will not be the first anymore.

I never wanted to be the first choice as a woman in a man's life.I wanted, for a long time, to be the only one.

What would faithfulness become if that be the case? A lack of option, and therefore fidelity to only one?

Friends

Something nice is happening to me. I am starting to enjoy to the extend of happiness, the people around me again. I am surrounded by amazing individuals, that are even more amazing by sharing small moments of themselves with me.

Thanks. Thanks for being the bricks in this amazing life of daily wonders.

Thank you Cata for the success of what was only an idea and a gantt chart, thank you Ionut for the sunny park day, thanks Artur for always understanding, thank you Alex for turning 21 and most importantly thank you EB 07/08 for "slefuirea zilnica care m-a adus la cine sunt azi", thank you EB 08/09 for the dreams we have.

Good night my friends.

Alegerile mici sunt cele mari

Astazi trebuia sa merg acasa. Sau ma rog, in locul care se apropie cel mai mult de notiunea mea de acasa, fara sa umple cu totul spatiul acestui cuvant.

Astazi trebuia sa merg in Targoviste. La mama, la tata, la Alexandra acolo unde e Bobutz, la rondul de flori inzapezit al bunicii mele. Weekendul asta e trecut in agenda cu "acasa" de o luna de zile. Patru intalniri au fost mutate, anulate sau pur si simplu ignorate pentru a feri locul asta in agenda. A fost o alegere consistenta, luta din timp si fara echivoc,de care m-am tinut timp de o luna.

Nu am fost.

Ieri m-am trezit la 5 pentru a re-scrie si regandi un discurs care nici macra nu fusese initial clar scris sau gandit. Am fost apoi toata ziua la conferinta EBBF

, iar seara am avut o noapte frumoasa si plina de sens cu echipa mea de board. Am terminat desenarea unui drum pentru AIESEC Bucuresti la 5 dimineata.

Astazi, la 13.00, patul a cucerit notiunea de acasa. Am adormit. O alegere simpla a pernei.


Aseara, la 2:00, vorbeam despre alegerile strategice care nu au valoare decat atunci cand alegerile mici, zilnice, converg spre ele.

Ca in viitor se va vedea ca nu are valoare sa iti treci intr-o viziune pe flipchart dezvoltarea oamenilor daca maine in sediu alegi sa faci un raport in fata laptopului cand un om din echipa ta are nevoie sa stati de vorba despre viitorul lui, ca nu va capata forta o viziune de "cultura a internationalismului" daca nu ai pofta sa iesi la o cafea cu cehoaica proaspat ajunsa in Romania.

Astazi, la ora 19.00, mama mi-a inchis telefonul. E suparata. Am promis. Si nu am venit. O alegere simpla a pernei. M-am uitat, maine am tren la 5:00.

Luni, la servici, va gasi in inbox linkul la blogul asta. O alegere mare de a-i arata o Oana pe care nu i-am mai dat timp demult sa o cunoasca. Poate ii place, cine stie......

A friend's question...

Random evenings at a beer, long discussions that serve no purpose but to fill in the silence as if that would help filling in the distances. Friends.

But there are moments in time, sparkling eyes and yes...a silence in our words, defined by the lack of the noise of masks, that unveil a question or an answer. A part of the puzzle of a discussion that gets stuck in your head for moments, days...... A moment of nude truth.

A dear friend of mine, Topper, asked me this evening when heading towards the subway: "So...you started a president's blog?". I'm not sure. I think it belongs more to the 22 old girl than to the 100 people president.

Another friend, that i see so rare that i don't think we know each other's eye color, but still a friend in spirit:), asked me at a late tee last month:"You fight in AIESEC to become better, stronger, more than yourself at present tense. But what will you do after? At what will you use that immense power once gained? What makes you need it?".

Other questions left unanswered, that aroused from a beer random friend talk:

> Will you have the will to stop and become a mother?
> Why are you hear today, now, with me?
> What is on your mind?
..................................................................................................

Do you have the answers? I don't have them yet. I am not sure i even need to........