Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Friends

Something nice is happening to me. I am starting to enjoy to the extend of happiness, the people around me again. I am surrounded by amazing individuals, that are even more amazing by sharing small moments of themselves with me.

Thanks. Thanks for being the bricks in this amazing life of daily wonders.

Thank you Cata for the success of what was only an idea and a gantt chart, thank you Ionut for the sunny park day, thanks Artur for always understanding, thank you Alex for turning 21 and most importantly thank you EB 07/08 for "slefuirea zilnica care m-a adus la cine sunt azi", thank you EB 08/09 for the dreams we have.

Good night my friends.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Alegerile mici sunt cele mari

Astazi trebuia sa merg acasa. Sau ma rog, in locul care se apropie cel mai mult de notiunea mea de acasa, fara sa umple cu totul spatiul acestui cuvant.

Astazi trebuia sa merg in Targoviste. La mama, la tata, la Alexandra acolo unde e Bobutz, la rondul de flori inzapezit al bunicii mele. Weekendul asta e trecut in agenda cu "acasa" de o luna de zile. Patru intalniri au fost mutate, anulate sau pur si simplu ignorate pentru a feri locul asta in agenda. A fost o alegere consistenta, luta din timp si fara echivoc,de care m-am tinut timp de o luna.

Nu am fost.

Ieri m-am trezit la 5 pentru a re-scrie si regandi un discurs care nici macra nu fusese initial clar scris sau gandit. Am fost apoi toata ziua la conferinta EBBF

, iar seara am avut o noapte frumoasa si plina de sens cu echipa mea de board. Am terminat desenarea unui drum pentru AIESEC Bucuresti la 5 dimineata.

Astazi, la 13.00, patul a cucerit notiunea de acasa. Am adormit. O alegere simpla a pernei.


Aseara, la 2:00, vorbeam despre alegerile strategice care nu au valoare decat atunci cand alegerile mici, zilnice, converg spre ele.

Ca in viitor se va vedea ca nu are valoare sa iti treci intr-o viziune pe flipchart dezvoltarea oamenilor daca maine in sediu alegi sa faci un raport in fata laptopului cand un om din echipa ta are nevoie sa stati de vorba despre viitorul lui, ca nu va capata forta o viziune de "cultura a internationalismului" daca nu ai pofta sa iesi la o cafea cu cehoaica proaspat ajunsa in Romania.

Astazi, la ora 19.00, mama mi-a inchis telefonul. E suparata. Am promis. Si nu am venit. O alegere simpla a pernei. M-am uitat, maine am tren la 5:00.

Luni, la servici, va gasi in inbox linkul la blogul asta. O alegere mare de a-i arata o Oana pe care nu i-am mai dat timp demult sa o cunoasca. Poate ii place, cine stie......

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A friend's question...

Random evenings at a beer, long discussions that serve no purpose but to fill in the silence as if that would help filling in the distances. Friends.

But there are moments in time, sparkling eyes and yes...a silence in our words, defined by the lack of the noise of masks, that unveil a question or an answer. A part of the puzzle of a discussion that gets stuck in your head for moments, days...... A moment of nude truth.

A dear friend of mine, Topper, asked me this evening when heading towards the subway: "So...you started a president's blog?". I'm not sure. I think it belongs more to the 22 old girl than to the 100 people president.

Another friend, that i see so rare that i don't think we know each other's eye color, but still a friend in spirit:), asked me at a late tee last month:"You fight in AIESEC to become better, stronger, more than yourself at present tense. But what will you do after? At what will you use that immense power once gained? What makes you need it?".

Other questions left unanswered, that aroused from a beer random friend talk:

> Will you have the will to stop and become a mother?
> Why are you hear today, now, with me?
> What is on your mind?
..................................................................................................

Do you have the answers? I don't have them yet. I am not sure i even need to........

Monday, February 4, 2008

Si m-am mai prins de o chestie...

Uitandu-ma din nou la perioada in care am inceput blogul, si la cum arata jumatatea mea de an in care l-am ignorat, m-am prins de ce a devenit "webpage non grata".

L-am inceput din vina unui "painful feeling of non-belonginess" aproape de implinirea a 4 ani de la Cata, dupa o oboseala crunta si 7 kile in minus dupa ITC, dupa doi ani jumate ce au ofilit.

Intens momentul facerii. Ca la carte. Cu preludiu lung, du-te vino... de era sa raman de o fericire virgina in anul ala.

Dar a urmat o penetrare adanca.....si parca o usoara retragere...si din nou si mai adanc.
Si cu sentimentul asta al neapartinerii adanc in mine, a trebuit sa nasc cuvinte.
Eu cuvinte, fecundatorul neapartinere...si iata un blog cu pseudonim, care prin urmare e al meu dar nu imi apartine.


De atunci insa, in cele 6 luni , am redevenit un vant care stie si sa adie.

Desi ratiunea actului initial al facerii a disparut, ma gandesc sa il pastrez, pe el, blogul.

Adica ce...daca te amesteci cu un om misto si faci un copil misto din asta, dar ulterior misto-ul creste o burta uriasa sau un comportament tzepos si dispare ratiunea facerii initiale...nu pastrezi copilul?

Draga blogule, vei fi un copil fara tata, pentru ca pe taica-tu l-am ucis cu mana mea. Ba am avut si oameni in jur care l-au ucis incetul cu incetul odata cu mine.

Si eu am ucis pentru oamenii astia cu mici lovituri de cutit fecundatori din viata lor care ieseau la baut cu taica-tu, intr-o carciuma cu pahare vizibile doar pe jumatatea goala.

Na, era un betiv care ducea paharul asta des la gura, pana a golit goliciunea.Si din preaplinul momentelor misto ce au ramas in lipsa goliciuni baute, te voi creste un betiv draga blogule.Insetat de preaplin.

I forgot about my blogg...

My friends, my parents, my sister, and so on... say I’m "uituca". I love them so I try to prove them right on a daily basis.

But I have managed to overcome even my own expectations, when I realized today that I forgot for weeks that I had this blogg, a virtual space at my own disposal to play with.

When writing www.blogger.com it directly opened this page. Uau...this is me...Hello Oana ! It seems the virtual space likes me after all if he remembered me so.... Maybe all those viruses it constantly troughs at me are just a childish....kindergarten boy like ...ways of showing that he likes me. I don't even know why I am surprised. The internet, somehow in the state I know him; it's actually barely a grown-up. Si-o fi serbat majoratul:)? Cum s-o comporta internetul beat crita incercand sa bage o gagica, beata mai putin dar destul cat sa pretinda ca nu stie ce face, intr-un dormitor in seala balului? Stiu cum arata google in costum negru de bal (http://www.blackle.com/) ...la internet nu prea ma prind dar imi imaginez ca ar merita un dans in carnetul meu de vals.

I got so girly nervous about the internet liking me that i instinctively returned to romanian, although at some point my non-romanian speaking AIESEC friends might visit me and it would not be polite to welcome them so...